Etiquette: China has often been referred to as the Nation of Etiquette. According to many westerners, however, Chinese people often act in what appears to be a discourteous manner. The reason for this anomaly lies in the different cultural and historical views of social decorum. In order to avoid unnecessary mistakes and embarrassment during communications, a better understanding of Chinese etiquette is essential.
Handshaking: Handshaking is considered formal greeting behavior in China. It is used to show respect, but only if the person is someone important, like a government official or a businessman. The grip should be firm, but not overly strong, and should not be prolonged because Chinese, like other Asians, prefer a brief handshake. After shaking hands, you may exchange your name or the title of your company with each other and then proceed to carry out the affairs.
Mianzi (Face): Mianzi, commonly referred to as 'face', is a reflection of a person's level of status in the eyes of his or her peers. Having 'face' means you are viewed by your peers, superiors, and subordinates as one in harmony with the prevailing disposition of society. It is a subtlety that is not openly discussed in Chinese society, but exists as a conversational skill nonetheless. As a foreigner, it is not necessary to take Mianzi too seriously when engaged in discussions that may be confusing. Mianzi can best be understood as the avoidance of embarrassment in front of others. Otherwise, it can be considered to be impolite.
Gift Giving:
'Courtesy demands reciprocity', goes an old Chinese saying, and the advice is an indispensable part of social interactions. It is important to both private and business relationships. The best choice for the initial meeting is a gift that expresses some unique aspect of your country. The gift wrapping should be red or any other festive color. White and black are ominous and should be avoided. It is not proper, and is even considered to be unfortunate, to take a clock as a gift or to choose one having to do with the number four, which sounds like death in Chinese. Even though even numbers are considered as good luck, the number four is an exception. Do not brag about your gift in front of the recipient, and you should use both hands when presenting it. Generally, the recipient may graciously refuse the present when first offered. In this case, you should correctly assess the situation and present it once again. If the recipient did not open your gift, it does not mean that he or she is not interested in it. It is polite to open it after you leave.
Family Visiting: In China, a gift is also necessary when visiting a family. But it is not as complex as the above situation. Usually, flowers, common fruits and food are okay. As for alcohol, you had better check whether the person enjoys it or if they have such a hobby. During lunch time, hosts will ask you to have more food or alcohol. If you do not want to disappoint them, you can have a little more according to your situation. If you are truly full, you had better refuse directly, otherwise, the hospitable hosts will continue to refill your bowl.
If you follow the usual rules of etiquette in China, you will extend the proper respect to the people. But there is no need to worry more about the cultural barriers, for the warm and friendly Chinese will try their best to respect your customs when communicating.
My boyfriend is Chinese we been together in a business and live together for more than a year, through thick and thin.He went back China, and keep communicating with me everyday.He has his job there,and we still have business transactions.He always saying that he really loves me?is it true or just because of the business?
Reply4/4/2009 10:37:00 PMtony fonta , Canada
is it true that chinese women don't say " i love you "
is it true that a chinese lady will offer candy to her friends first and then her husband.
why is my chinese wife so difficult to understand ?
chinese women dosen't answer questions, is that true?
why can't my wife be more open in conversations with me ?
italian man married to a wonderfull chinese lady.
what are all those secrets my wife has?
i have noticed that my wife has extreme difficulty asking for my help to do whatever she'd like to do ?.
how can i asure her that i am on her side no matter what the difference might be ?
Reply2/22/2009 8:20:00 PMSunny , China
Hi Mr Bean, Generally Chinese women are conservative. You can express your love clearly to her, but the mention of marriage is better to be later when you are in a steady relationship. Marriage is serious especially in China. Some people say that marriage in China is not just the matter between two lovers, but also the two families. :)
Reply2/21/2009 4:36:00 AMBean , Zambia
I like a Chinese woman. She says that she is not ready for marriage. What is the acceptable way to propose love to a Chinese woman? Also, what is the right way to conduct oneself in a relationship?
Reply8/18/2008 4:42:00 AM........ Excellant , Australia
Someone should make a segmant on Childrens etiquette in China as I can't find much information on the internet if you have any suggestions please write back...... Im despreate!
Reply8/17/2008 8:58:00 PMSophia , China
Really difficult. It isn't appropriate to exchange the gift without the permission of the giver. But if you ask for the permission, it will hurt his feeling a bit. Usually, if the giver is not sure whether the gift fits you, he or she will say you may exchange it at the shop where he bought. So exchanging the gift is not forbidden.
Reply8/16/2008 8:44:00 AMReadbestbooks , China
My wife received a very expensive jewelry gift from a close Chinese business/friend of mine. It is something she will never wear. Is it appropriate for her to exchange the gift at the jewelers he purchased it from. Want to do the correct thing.
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Reply7/25/2009 3:40:00 AMcaroline agaab , Philippines
My boyfriend is Chinese we been together in a business and live together for more than a year, through thick and thin.He went back China, and keep communicating with me everyday.He has his job there,and we still have business transactions.He always saying that he really loves me?is it true or just because of the business?
Reply4/4/2009 10:37:00 PMtony fonta , Canada
is it true that chinese women don't say " i love you "
is it true that a chinese lady will offer candy to her friends first and then her husband.
why is my chinese wife so difficult to understand ?
chinese women dosen't answer questions, is that true?
why can't my wife be more open in conversations with me ?
italian man married to a wonderfull chinese lady.
what are all those secrets my wife has?
i have noticed that my wife has extreme difficulty asking for my help to do whatever she'd like to do ?.
how can i asure her that i am on her side no matter what the difference might be ?
Reply2/22/2009 8:20:00 PMSunny , China
Hi Mr Bean,
Generally Chinese women are conservative. You can express your love clearly to her, but the mention of marriage is better to be later when you are in a steady relationship. Marriage is serious especially in China. Some people say that marriage in China is not just the matter between two lovers, but also the two families. :)
Reply2/21/2009 4:36:00 AMBean , Zambia
I like a Chinese woman. She says that she is not ready for marriage. What is the acceptable way to propose love to a Chinese woman? Also, what is the right way to conduct oneself in a relationship?
Reply8/18/2008 4:42:00 AM........ Excellant , Australia
Someone should make a segmant on Childrens etiquette in China as I can't find much information on the internet if you have any suggestions please write back...... Im despreate!
Reply8/17/2008 8:58:00 PMSophia , China
Really difficult. It isn't appropriate to exchange the gift without the permission of the giver. But if you ask for the permission, it will hurt his feeling a bit. Usually, if the giver is not sure whether the gift fits you, he or she will say you may exchange it at the shop where he bought. So exchanging the gift is not forbidden.
Reply8/16/2008 8:44:00 AMReadbestbooks , China
My wife received a very expensive jewelry gift from a close Chinese business/friend of mine. It is something she will never wear. Is it appropriate for her to exchange the gift at the jewelers he purchased it from. Want to do the correct thing.